A few weeks ago I began selling my art. I opened an online shop, I started marketing myself more online, and in general stepped into my identity as an artist more fully and truly than I have ever allowed myself before.
That last part is important because it is the key to the door we all want opened.
If you want to live the life you dream of, you have to give yourself permission.
I have always been an artist. I disconnected from this part of myself after shame and sorrow took up semi-permanent residence for a few years. Creating, expressing my emotions, joy.. There was just no room for it. My light was dimmed and shadow was Queen.
Once reconnected with Self through giving myself permission to grieve, and rage, and wash myself free of my own self-judgment, there was room again for creativity and play.
Even still, it was years, 5 to be exact, before I finally felt grounded enough in Truth and Love to step fully into the light and share my purpose; art. Well, Love and Art that manifests as healing art.
Now that I have walked through that door, Love and Joy abound. I have started creating even more art that I am doubly excited about because I am experimenting in new ways, ways I had previously told myself I had no skill for. What I learned is, when I am trusting and believing in myself, I can do everything I want to do.
Last year I confided in my husband that I wanted to pursue my art more intentionally. So I created and created and created and when it was time to share it with the world I did the work and found my space. Today I told my husband I want to stand next to my art and talk with the people purchasing it, I want to make connections through my art. So now I am doing the work to find my space inside of local art festivals. I also understand that I want to hold more space for healing in community through art, I talked to my husband about this and now I am meditating on the idea of creating art workshops and retreats.
Discussing my dreams with my husband has always been an important part of the process because it is how I let the Universe know I am ready!
I will have a vision of where I am going next after I have accomplished a healing goal. I will sit with this vision for months, feeling everything I need to feel about it, trying it on for size, making sure it fits. When I finally share my vision with my husband, that is when I know I am ready to receive all of the divine support needed to give birth to my vision and create my reality.
Again, the KEY to this life I want, the KEY to meeting each goal I set for myself, is permission. My own.
When creating my vision of making and selling art;
I gave myself permission to take my time.
I gave myself permission to take breaks and rest.
I gave myself permission to experiment, and fiddle, and tweak, to make mistakes and start over.
I gave myself permission to act when inspired and step back when unsure.
I gave myself a whole lot of permission to be seen and take up space in ways I had been afraid to before.
I gave myself permission to stand in my identity as an artist long before I felt fully sure of its Truth.
I gave myself permission to be misunderstood.
I gave myself permission to take a risk on myself.
I gave myself permission to be scared and experience doubt.
I gave myself permission to hold sacred loving space for my inner critic.
I gave myself permission to follow my intuition and do every single (wackadoo risky) thing that felt right.
I gave myself permission to ask for help.
I gave myself permission to play and be silly and share that joy openly.
I gave myself permission to be True.
On the other side of the risk taken and the permission given is abundance. Abundance in the form of courage, Love, joy, deeper connection to Self, creativity, inspiration (so much inspiration), and lightness.. a feeling of lightness I have never experienced. An unburdening took place in this process that I was not even aware of and I am grateful for it.
Now that I have spoken my Truth out loud and shared my vision for what comes next, I know the Universe is working in my favor. I know when the Universe knocks on my door with opportunity it will find my door open and me walking through it with a jubilant YES!! on my lips. Yes Universe, I am home, and I am ready for all the greatness and beauty you have in store.