Something I love about my new job, the number one thing I love about my new job, is the freedom. I had a meeting by phone today and when I was done I went in the backyard with Lu and laid in the hammock meditating for 45 minutes.
I laid there and for the first few moments I counted gratitude.
It is 1:45 on a Monday and I am in yoga pants, braless, laying outside.
I get to decide when it feels right to do the work I need to do today.
I have a schedule that allows me to rise with the sun rather than yelled at by a clock.
I am so very grateful.
As I was counting my gratitude, staring up at the branches of Nana our Live Oak tree – who is not in fact ours but her own, we just share this land we live on- I started thinking of Ofglen and OfWarren and Ofrred, and the other handmaids from my book. I was thinking about these luxuries that I just listed and how they are just that, luxuries.
Being braless, having a say in what I wear based on what feels good on my body.
Having say in my daily schedule, freedom to rise and sleep and eat when my body tells me it is time. Living a life guided by my own wisdom about what is right for me.
These are all extravagant luxuries. Luxuries that the women in my novel would covet. To be able to go outside at all on one’s own accord, a luxury.
Then I started thinking bigger, outside of the pages of the book. I live in a world where the terrifying reality of The Handmaid’s Tale is someone else’s reality. There are women in this world who are forbidden to read therefore never given the opportunity. There are women in this world who have no say in what they wear, their bodies are given no consideration to what feels right and comfortable to them because the reality they live in states that their bodies are not in fact their bodies, their bodies belong to men. Their are women in this world that are used strictly as vessels, just like the women in this book. They are possessions, not people.
In the story Ofrred talks about how before the change took place she would read about women raped and murdered and oppressed in the news paper, when she was still allowed to read the newspaper, and think Oh that is awful and then move on with her day because it had never happened to anyone she knew personally. This was not her reality therefore it was not a reality for her at all.
There was this feeling of Us and Them and as long as whatever tragedy or atrocity was happening to Them and not Us then it was of no concern.
I sat with this for a while and it began to manifest. Us versus Them in this sense makes Us feel safe. As long as it is not happening to Us then we are safe. We are not morally responsible for what happens to Them, just Us.
Us versus Them has historically been used in another way as well. It is a classic way to create and build fear. It is the creation of a separation that does not actually exist. Politicians stand behind podiums warning Us about Them. Them, the ones who mean to hurt us, kill us, steal our jobs, rape our women, take what is ours. We elect people to protect Us from Them.
I sat with this for a while as well and then came back to my truth, that there is no true separation between Us and Them, only the separation that we as humans create. We have created this oppressive fear. We have created this divide to keep Us safe.
When I stand in my truth that all life is connected and the illusion of separation is in fact a fallacy this is the deeper truth that is uncovered:
Because we are all connected that means that if one person has darkness in them we all have darkness in us. If one person has light we all have light. If one person is capable of killing that means we are all capable of killing. There is no Us, there is no Them, There is only We. We all have light and dark and the potential to stand in there at any given time. What one person is capable of We are all capable of, for better or for worse.
I do not have answer on how to save the world with this knowledge, it is a knowledge many already possess yet here we sit demanding women wear bras and killing each other. Afraid or each other and thankful for the illusion of separation that allows us to believe some invisible line exists to keep Us safe.
For now I will hold my gratitude and cherish it because I understand that one woman’s oppression is also my burden to bear. I will look into the faces of those I meet and know that we are one and that their shadows are my shadows and my light resides in them as well. I will hold this truth sacred above all. I will hold this truth sacred.