This afternoon I completed my 3rd load of laundry, 2nd load of dishes (the third load is waiting its turn in the sink), put away all the supplies after giving the Lu an impromptu bath this morning when she decided to roll in mud, made dinner for tonight (legit food I am proud to feed my family), finished cleaning up the art room from last night’s creation, and sat down here to write this post – all while little bub takes a nap.
I came in from moving the laundry around and saw another item to add to my check list – clean up shoes from front hall. I almost grabbed them then and there but instead I got mad; I have been cleaning my house all day, how the hell is my house still messy?!
I say this to myself multiple times per week.
It feels like I am always cleaning. It is totally not true, I am no slave to cleanliness; however, I do clean a lot more than I used to.
I have a third person’s laundry to do, and that third person is super messy. I have a third person to feed, and that third person is super messy. I have a third person to clean up after, and that third person is super messy.
I am grateful for the chores my husband does, otherwise I would be buried. As it is, I still feel a bit ick about this particular part of my role as mommy and house co-manager.
That is why I am writing in these sacred few minutes I have left before little bubby wakes up. Not because I need to vent, the opposite in fact; I have gratitude exploding out of me.
My ability to balance is on point. When scarcity creeps in; Hello why is the house still a mess?!, I don’t have enough help, I don’t have enough time, I don’t have enough energy, We need a maid!, I start looking for the truth and tune out the lies scarcity is trying to sell me. Sorry scarcity, I am not buying.
My first truth: The truth of enough.
I am enough. What I have is enough. What I give is enough. I do not have to do it all now. There is enough time for everything.
Second, truth: The truth of abundance.
Enter gratitude, welcome back old friend. I missed you for a moment there. Let’s practice some truth speaking about this life of ours.
My gratitude in this moment is this:
I am grateful for the peace an organized home brings myself and my family.
I am grateful my husband shares a peaceful home as a foundational value and does his part to create and maintain our peace.
I am grateful little bubby naps well and that I am able to use his nap time in whatever way I feel connected to in that moment; cleaning, art, cooking, writing..
I am grateful for the knowledge that no use of this time is wrong as long as I made the decision from a place of connection.
I am grateful for what I was able to accomplish and create this afternoon.
I am grateful for my truth around perfectionism; I do not have to do it all, I do not have to be supermom – I am enough as I am, ALL of me is.
I am grateful for the support I call in; friends, family, the food I eat, hot showers, books, coffee, hugs.
Most of all, always most of all, I am grateful for the love. There is so so much love here and I am grateful.
Little bubby is awake and I am now ready to play.