No Technology Weekend

Last week did not end up being the massive overwhelm I was mentally and emotionally preparing myself for. Multiple clients dropped off my schedule leaving me ample time to complete all the documentation I was working on without adding any new documentation to my load. I don’t get paid when I don’t see a client since I am not an hourly employee so I lose out in that respect, all in all I think it created a much needed balance for me though and I was definitely sending my thanks to the Universe.

Because I was expecting this hectic week to happen my husband and I made plans for the weekend that were sure to also offer balance. It was a tech free weekend in our home (with the exception of one hour of TV last night to watch Game of Thrones).

The tech free idea for the weekend actually wasn’t an intentional plan we made, it rose of out necessity more or less.

Saturday we went and picked up our niece and nephew in the morning and brought them to our house for a play date.

We got to my parent’s home where the kids had stayed the night and were greeted by my nephew charging out of the house ready to go, hold on buddy let us say Hi to Mimi before we leave. I could sense that he was in a mood. When I opened the front door I understood why, the house was awake and busy and my nephew gets easily overstimulated.

My niece, Moo, ran to the door, tablet in hand and excitedly told me to come dance with her. She was playing that dancy Justin Timberlake song, I don’t know what it’s called. We jumped around letting our arms fly free while my husband collected the sports equipment that my nephew wanted to bring with him. When we finally got to the car and got everyone strapped in the kids both immediately retreated into their tablets. I hopped in the front seats, leaned back, and took both tablets. Let’s talk.

I told the kids we were going to have 10 minutes of social time then I would give the tablets back for the remainder of the car ride.

They did well, my nephew struggling a bit more than my niece.

When we got home I put the tablets away because the second we walked in the house my nephew asked me if there was a quiet room where he could play on his tablet alone. Um No. We are going to spend time together doing activities and playing games.

This is what he does at his house and when he comes to my parent’s house. I feel like I never see him anymore because he retreats into the tablet. I don’t know if it the fact that he is on summer vacation so he doesn’t have that structure of a daily school schedule or if all the changes taking place in his life are becoming too much (he went from a child with one sibling to a child with three in less than three years plus his family is in a major transition time with getting ready to move out of state). It might also be the age, he is going on 11. It is quite possibly a combination of everything listed and many other factors I have not considered. All I knew is that I was not going to lose him on a day when the weather was beautiful and we had plenty of ways to be together.

We tie-dyed shirts together, then my husband made the kids grilled cheese with milk for lunch, after lunch my husband took my nephew to the park to play all manner of sports while Moo and I painted together in the living room. After painting and sports the kids both played with my husband and Lu in my canvas tent while I cleaned up a bit. Then my husband and my nephew played a game at the kitchen table while I took Moo to the park for a few minutes.

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On the way back to my parent’s house rather than give the kids their tablets for the car ride we played car games from my husband and I’s childhood. The kids had a blast and were both super engaged. I am not knocking tech for kids, this will probably be our last play date with these two before they move out of state though so I really wanted to have them fully, without distractions. It was a great day.

When got to my parent’s place one of the twins, the one I call Banana, was being extra clingy to me. We have never done play dates with the twins because of their age, we started with Moo when she was three and the twins are not quite there. I think Banana would have come though if we let her.

So Banana and I spent sometime together that evening. It began to rain so I picked her up and we went on the back porch where we stuck a hand out past the railing to feel the water on our fingers. Banana looked around the yard as I pointed out and named all the plants that were being watered by the rain.

I was glad to have a little time with each of them on Saturday, even the baby and I had our moment. I have a feeling that may have been my last big day with all of them like this, I am grateful for the memories.

Yesterday my husband and I took care of a few chores as per our usual Sunday routine. We allowed plenty of time for quiet as well. I took two naps which felt a bit overindulgent AND needed. The second one barely counts though because Lu horned in on my napping spot ten minutes in which woke me up.

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At the end of the week my brother-in-law is flying in for a visit so today I am readying our home for company. Tonight I will attend Red Tent and am excited for the connection. It’s funny because this is my second time going, I expected my nerves to be less, that is not the case though. Half of the nervous feeling is just unbridled excitement, the other half is regular old nerves though. It is not easy being new, it is not easy to put yourself out there and show up alone to an event where you know few people well and allow yourself to be truly seen and experience real connection with other women. It is not easy AND it is worth it.

Rachel and Bilhah

I finished The Handmaid’s Tale – sensational. As soon as I read the last sentence I put it down and picked up Red Tent, then I had a major Oh Shit moment. The foundation of these two stories are built on the same biblical reference. At least I am pretty sure it is a biblical reference, being a Godless woman I have never actually read the bible. I am to understand that this story, the story of Rachel and her handmaid/sister(?), is from the bible though.

The handmaid’s tale told the story from the point of view of the handmaid, the woman used for her ability to give birth, a woman who was reduced to little more than a walking womb.

I am not yet sure how Rachel and Bilhah’s story will be told in Red Tent yet. It appears to be from the perspective of Leah’s daughter, Dinah.

So what does this mean? This is the second time these women are being presenting to me. Two is my symbol fro action, it is the sign the Universe sends me when it is time for me to act. I am not sure what I am meant to do with the stories of these women though. What is my connection here?

I believe there is a strong possibility that this is all connected to motherhood and my work on that topic because I was originally called to read Handmaid’s Tale after attending the lecture around the dark side  of motherhood. I think it could also relate to the group work I am meant to facilitate with women.

It is not clear yet though. Maybe as I continue to read Red Tent and see how Rachel, and Bilhah, and Leah, and Dinah’s stories unfold I will know.

I have been leading with intuition lately and it has opened me up to so much receiving. I often do not know why I am receiving the signs/messages I am when they come through but I am beginning to understand that the why is not important, what is important is just to be open to receive.

 

Red Tent

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Tonight I attended my first ever Red Tent women’s circle and it was exactly what I knew it would be, sacred. There was so much incredible energy flowing among all of us, there was a definite magnetism happening for some of us and what was really wonderful is that each of us were leading with our intuition and identifying what it was we were feeling.

I felt connected in really incredible ways, to myself, the women, the nature; that is where I felt some of my deepest connections particularly to the cranberry hibiscus growing in the garden of out hostess. I have never seen a cranberry hibiscus plant before but I felt so drawn to her, I can’t quite put my finger on it.

During our circle when the vessel came to me indicating it was my turn to share I spoke from my heart and allowed myself to be seen. It was beautiful.

The woman who hosted is the same woman I met for tea earlier this week that speaks the language of intuition as freely as I do. I know, and she confirmed this feeling tonight, that we were brought to each other. And while neither of us understand why yet, that is of little concern to either of us, we just know this connection is what matters.

There were two women who felt like the elders of our group and I felt the most drawn to them, from the moment I entered the group I felt their energy. It was such an amazing pull. I spent much time with one, she confirmed that she felt the pull of our energies as well. She wanted to know my story and listened intently to everything flowing out of me, and that is what happened, it all just flowed out. She said my presence in the circle was so moving it made her cry. I am honored to have touched her heart.

I made another connection that right now feels like maybe it is less for me and more for the other person, like she needs my energy right now for some reason. She is starting a group in two weeks all about healing the Mother Wound, that will always be part of my work so I immediately identified with the need for this kind of group to exist. Everyone, but women especially in my opinion, have work to do around the Mother Wound. I looked at the calendar to see if the day was free for me because she invited me to attend and I saw it was on the second day of the new month. Well the number 2 is the symbol the Universe speaks to me in when I am meant to take action so there is my sign, I will be attending.

This particular Red Tent group holds a potluck before they enter the circle so that was nice to share a meal, a very special thing to me – to share food prepared for one another is always a sacred act of love. They also have a give away table where anything that you would like to donate can be brought for others to receive. A copy of Red Tent the book was sitting there and I knew it was put there for me so I allowed myself to receive this gift with a grateful heart.

I have a lot to sit with and meditate on and this is going to be a busy weekend so I know it will be important for me to make time for this, I will find my time.

I am grateful this luminous soul came into my life this week to bring me this awesome gift of connection and love channeled through the sacred feminine. This was an important week for so many reasons but most of all for this.

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Welcome Summer

Today is summer solstice in the northern hemisphere and it was a beautiful day here in Central Florida. I celebrated with vegan rosemary lemon shortbread cookies that I baked yesterday. They are fragrant and taste like summer, a cookie filled with sunshine. I hate baking, these cookies take the edge off that hate.

I am also celebrating by attending my first ever red tent later this week. I am excited but more so I am curious. I don’t really know what to expect, outside of hopefully building meaningful connections with other women.

I was on the fence about going, nerves or something were holding me back, but this week especially I feel open to receiving support in all forms.

On this day of celebration and transition between seasons I would like to close by counting my gratitude.

I am grateful it did not rain while I was driving to and from my appointment today. Today was an important day and brought with it some nerves, I appreciate not having to navigate crummy weather.

I am grateful for my experiences today. It was my best first day on a job ever. I did so well, I am proud of myself.

I am grateful for the growth I have experienced so far and the current growth spurt I am experiencing. With each note I enter, with each appointment I schedule, with each client I see, I am getting bigger. I am bigger today than I was yesterday and tomorrow I will be bigger than I am right now.

I am grateful for my intuition and my trust in it. It is what has gotten me this far and it will take me to all of my amazing tomorrows.

I am grateful for the rain falling on our roof right now. I know I will get to fall asleep to the sound of rain tonight, my absolute favorite.

I am grateful for this amazing life I have. 10 years ago I could not see this future for myself. It is so good. It is so good and I am so so grateful.